Gotta stop the madness.
For a long time I've been "on" a very-low calorie diet. I'm saying it like that because no, I haven't been on it. I've been pretending to be on it, trying to psych myself up to commit to it, going to the doctor and getting on the scale and seeing it go up and down by 3-4 pounds and just praying I didn't gain anything this week. For whatever reason, the idea of living on 900 calories a day is very anxiety-inducing for me, and while I know on the one hand it would make me thinner, on the other hand it makes me nervous. I hate being hangry, I hate being light-headed, I hate being restricted to shakes and tiny portions. I keep telling myself that I can do this, but I'll tell myself I will start this tomorrow, so today I will go to Wendy's and have an awesome burger and a frosty so I'll have one last fun day before I start starving myself again. A few days ago, I went to a book signing. One of my childhood idols, Tiffani Thiessen, wrote a cookbook